when i think about you
i think about how my heart tried to hit the brakes
throw my anatomy into neutral
calm
contained
but you crashed me into a meadow
where dandelions rest upon my collarbones
and roses grow inside my atria
i think about how i would use the ash from your cigarette
and trace the veins on your arms
trying to make a map
so i’d never go off track
so my fingers could run marathons on your ribs
so my fingers could tie your heartstrings in knots
in hopes the feeling would never leave
i think about how when you say you love me
my mind grows heavy with ‘what-ifs’
‘for how long’
and ‘what about him’
but when i look into your eyes
and i see us
diving in and out of your aqueous humor
ripping the retina from the walls and making our own colors
i know who i am
i know who i need to be
i think about how making love with you
turns my body into a wave
frequency high enough to shatter the chandeliers
the chandeliers that reflect you back to me
the chandeliers that sway with each breath we take
when i think about you
i think about the best parts of this world
the love and the hope
and how i wish to experience all of these
with you
hand in hand
driving past the meadow
refusing to step on the brakes