I’m still waiting for all of this hurt and pain to go away. I’m still waiting to be able to confidently look in the mirror and actually smile at what I see reflected back. I’m still waiting for the day where I can ask strangers “how much is this?” “What time is it?” I’m still waiting for the day where I can confidently voice my opinion whether it’s a popular opinion or not. I’m still waiting for the day where I no longer take art lessons with a sharp blade as my pen and use my wrist as the paper. I thought I was a lot better, I thought I was making progress. But now, I no longer eat, I exercise 24/7, I have made laxatives my bestfriend again. I thought people were proud of me, and now I’m giving them a reason to doubt me, take all of the pride away from me and swap it with guilt and remorse. Maybe there’s a way out, maybe there’s a way I can end this pain once and for all. Maybe just maybe I can get off this train and jump right into the tracks.