I saw you for the first time in the summer, when sunflowers mourn the sun at night - the loss of a light and adjoining heat, which nurtures restlessness in the confined atomic particles, causing them to dance and grow tired of each other until ice becomes liquid and liquid becomes vapor...
Cycles are consistencies in nature, beginnings and ends that are defined by perception. And so, in a way, I'm not the first person who thinks she loves you, nor the last - just a witness to a portion of your evolution, which will end the same way it began: a darkness constructed of eyelids, as sweet as silence.
A sour sap of jealousy seeps upon my thoughts when I see you. I feel like screaming, like pulling my hair out, because unwanted epiphanies are pretty weeds; dandelions that seed with winds.
A sap that blinds sufficiently for me to believe you possessed green eyes.
I don't want to love you.
And yet, I'm content with the uncomfortable certainty of confinement, of silence, of distance and uninteraction, with trailing eyes like shooting stars.
My first, and last, suicide letter. Evidently a failed attempt. I'm in a much better place now.