Don't dare hang up the phone
Please don't touch that dial
I've got this idea a-brewing
If you'll kindly hear me out

I often have these hunger pains
Throughout my busy day
And seldom find the time to stop
For a meal along the way

So I got my brain juices flowing
And came to this conclusion
Baloney flavored chewing gum
Could be this man's solution

But how to get the flavor
Onto the stick of gum
When it's baloney that I savor
It must be in the rub

So I go buy top shelf baloney
Take the gum from my pocket...
...remove the lint
Rub-a-Dub this grub like in a tub
Then call it baloney peppermint

I'm now on my way to success
Never stopping off for meals
Ain't got time for none of that
In my world of Wheel and Deal

I've now quite the variety of meat
In the daily meals I chew
If you care to call 1-800-Baloney Peppermint
Then you can chew it too