I get my feet into this, I get my hands to that.
I get my eyes on somethin' and I don't look back.
But you knew that. Cause I told you twice.
I painted you and your cistern  my favorite shade of white.

I like 'em gold on the top, and pink in the middle-
Try to get 'em squealing when I pluck my fiddle.
If I can raise up the flag, in all its glory of red, white, and blue.
Then I should be able to take up my hand to a woman or two.

I like backdoor trouble, I'm as mean as the devil,
I don't mess with ***** that like to cuddle, .
Even though Kristine's my girlfriend, it doesn't make her my bride
I said listen ***** , "If you keep callin' you're gonna ps off my wife ."

Cause I was raised in the pine, but I grew up in the forest
I've been a mile high member with another Kristina from Florida.
If she can choke on the ****, then maybe I'll be romantic,
As long as I can **** her ***** up like cervical cancer.

I met a teacher name Lisa but I had to teach her,
Beneath her their startin' to get to sleepin' was her girl friend Selena
I had em lay their like two logs, and tied them up like human hogs
Just a real home meal is what this doctor ordered.

Now if I need bleach, I just, use some more
And if I need virgins, I just, cut new holes
But if I want me some white, tight, tiny swine,
I get to the high school by a quarter to nine