I love this
And I love you

I'm trying to do things
That are hard to do

I hate myself sometimes
That's not a crime

But I guess it should be
When I'm the only one who doesn't
Always see

I am ******* great
And that's no mistake
I worked and worked and worked
Even though I only saw
a doomed fate

I want this so bad
I want to be myself
I want to live a life
That's not just on a shelf

I am who I am
I always have been
Its been my mistake
Forgetting that I am so purely myself
That it can make others revolted
And so they revolted

Throwing stones
And words so solid so heavy
Id never shake them off
Id always carry those bruises

I forget that I am
So unrelenting
I forget that I am
So persistent
I forget that I am
A survivor
As much as I am
A victim

I am who I am
And sometimes that has been
Bad on purpose

Ive tried new things
I've begged for forgiveness
I've back peddled
I've changed my mind

I look back
And I wonder how no one noticed
How I was bad on purpose

And that's one of the best parts of me
I don't care
Because I care so much

I'll find my happiness myself
I'll find my worth myself
I'll find my path myself
I'll find myself myself

If I need to scratch and claw
And cry and scream
And fawn as much as I fight
I'll do whatever I need to
To live my own life

Just as long as I can sleep at night
Or during the day
Or for only an hour
As long as I can
Whenever I can

I appreciate my life
When I'm trying to end it
I appreciate the struggle
When I am begging for it to stop

I love the light
I love the dark
I love them both
I love it all

I love it the best
When it's bad on purpose