I wish I could just play,
the emotions I feel
that are on display
I've always been this way.

Bumping,
peeling
orange peel
I sat until I apologized,
3 times in kindergarten.
Her head was throbbing,
but I didn't meant it
but still, I could see the pain,
just before it rained,
I apologized the third time.

And yet, I didn't learn the lesson,
when I had a heavy drinking session,
I said the worse to a 12 year old girl,
when she attacked and mocked my world.

You should never verbally abuse
a 12 year old kid, no excuse.
I felt so sick the next day,
but my  poison still remained

I'm now free of the abuse,
trying hard to resist,
the drugs that I am on
Gives me poetry to persist,
but I still stand accused
Can't feel any bliss
Not worthy of God's son.
Though no more alcoholism,
I will wind up walking dead,
or hurting those, I love everyone.