Internally, she crumbles.

She doesn't know where she's
been the past few months.
Living in a bad nightmare.

Depersonalization.
Derealization.

As the robot mask of herself
pulls her along.
Drags her through it.

As her personality fades,
Sense of self depletes.

Others question why,
or why she couldn't have prevented this.

"You should have known better" -
A phrase that feels like a dagger
piercing her heart.

Blame
Shame
Fault.

She's a bird with a broken wing.

Mere months ago, this wasn't the case.
She was a bird soaring high.
Felt helpful, useful, proud.
Ecstatic to be using her knowledge
for good and supporting and
advocating for those she cared about most.
Using her intelligence and learning.

How dare you shame her
blame her.
She has more guts and strength
than you'll ever know.
She conquered darkness,
a feat few can say.

She built a life worth living,
and now that's slipping away.

So call her flakey
Call her stupid

Judge her all you want.

But she knows she is powerful
courageous
brave
insightful
reflective

A force to be reckoned with
A phoenix rising from the ashes.

She'll shut other voices out
Listen to herself
Come to terms with her self doubt
and forge forward reclaiming her Self