I find very little encouragement to live my life these days, it used to be different when I was ten.
I remember walking down this street humming and skipping in full joy, Like I had the juiciest fruit in all of the world and that fruit held secrets, carrying more than just sweetness, It was big, golden and shiny I think that fruit was my heart, It was always so full. Almost overflowing with sickening sweetness, exasperating energy and a sticky smile that was always there.
I would dance around, walk fast then slow I would roll around, talk so loud then low. It sickens me now. Why was I like that ages ago? What made me so excited about life? To wake up every day and just....live?
It sickens me even more That I can't have that again. It also confuses me because what is human life if not a change after change after change?
November 4 2024 coming to an end and I don't know what I will do tomorrow....or with my life.