everyone will die
no one wants to until they realize that life is prison
and in death they are free-
they are like orphans, taken in with kindness
unaware of their caretaker
[who they are,
what they want from them-]
when death is your foster parent,
his abuse isn’t forthright-
it’s like I learned in kindergarten
“how do you boil a frog?”
“slowly increasing the heat over a long  period of time.”
relax too long in his hot spring
and death may make a meal out of your naivety-

it’s only human;

when you are tortured days upon days
you ask for the bitter gall to hasten your death;
and life can be torturous to many
as everyday we are crushed by a millstone:
the weight of the rotting bodies
of children who took their parents gun
put it into their mouths
thinking they could swallow bullets,
leaving pieces of their skull
as little gifts to those that are left behind-

we are crushed by the purposeless, repetitive work load-
we form addictions just to cope with the lack of sleep
lack of energy
lack of love
lack of connection
and lack of intuition that we are forced to experience-

i was always told
“get used to doing the same thing and never changing
because it doesn’t end in school
it continues every day
until you finally get to pass away
with those who love you surrounding your side.”
oh death can’t be the only reward in this life!
no wonder why we can’t ever lose infatuation with killing ourselves,
“it all has to be better-
something has to be better-
anything could be better
than what we live in”-

I’ve found that the grass is never greener on the other side of the wall
it’s just sometimes taller
or shorter
or has some different plants growing inside
but the color only changes with the seasons
and we will all experience rainfall and drought
even God says that “it shall rain on the just and the unjust.”
so I move forward
remembering that “i have learned the secret
of being content
in any and every situation
whether well fed or hungry, whether living
in plenty or in want.”
and I cling to this verse as a  stronghold in my faith-

we will all see hell rain down in this earth
and many will weep as the blood and bones are crushed
and the skin is melted away
and also when the spirit is divided from the soul,
but there are still many who will not be concerned with
this or that
or the troubles of the day
and like nurses
they will stomach the stench of decay
and the sight of blood
and they will rush to aid those weeping
and comfort the broken,
picking up the pieces,
helping to fix their shattered complexion,
and will not take the bitter gall
but endure suffering-
and in suffering
we will find true freedom-
becoming like Christ
like lambs to the slaughter
and we will see our reward.