I'm sorry we can't be friends
I don't know how to explain that
It isn't you, but my brain
Or even that it's a bit of both.

There's something wrong with this
With the way my mind gets stuck on you
The way you feel so important to me
When you're just some random girl.

It felt like I saw glimpses of your truth
Moments where you'd drop the mask
We could talk about feelings in a real way
And you'd release that tough exterior.

My thoughts would get stuck on you
On the things that you'd say when you were drunk
Because whatever existed between us
Felt surreal and part of something more.

I understand that that's ridiculous
That this delusion is a product of my own mind
That this intense affinity I have for you
Is simply a compulsion of my traumatized brain.

But even knowing my own truth didn't fix it
I still drunk texted you like a lovesick fool
I still acted like an idiot when you showed up
Stuck hyperfocused on you when everyone could see.

I'm sorry I wasn't better than my brain
And that I can't just flow as friends
You mean a lot to me,
But that's precisely the problem now.

Because you don't like me like that
And you don't want whatever this is
I want to respect you and your feelings
So I need to step away

You still take up too many thoughts
But it's getting better these days
I'm sorry for any chaos I caused
I truly hope this is best for us both