I don't wish I was dying,
But sometimes I think what if I was?
I guess it's a craving for that feeling of fragility
Of suspension
Perhaps I want to see more clearly,
Through the fog of everyday messes
Perhaps I want to step out of the anger I'm harboring,
Remove the toxicity it breeds

To think of 'what would I feel like if I knew I was dying',
Is not enough as if you actually were,
If you were handed the death sentence,
Only so much time before the cancer eats all your cells for example,
You'd live in a different way,
You'd be lighter,
Sensitive,
Aware
Scared too,

I want to know what it feels like to be free of pain
I want to believe in joy