this is what i chose
i wanted to be the one who chases,
admires, who thinks you’re better than me
you, who i respect and envy.
untouchable.

but why does it feel so bad
compared to being loved and admired?
why does being loved feel so much better than loving?

i’ve always longed to be the admirer
but for the first time in forever
i felt what it was to truly be loved
and now i know how good it feels

why does it feel so much better when you’re the one looking at me with love in your eyes?