i ache in areas i didn't know could feel pain
like a stepped on leaf—brought by disdain
i bleed in crevices i thought i had fixed;
but my body seems to deny the remedies —it ditched

the cries;
the laughter,
the shattering thunder
makes my heart unnaturally falter

the heaviness;
the rage,
the unforgiving phase,
the me you cannot replace


the heave and squeal,
the dying of zeal,
the red as it shed—
and the blue once its dead.