The thought of seeing a doctor next week
Makes my stomach clench and churn,
The thought of spilling my heart all over
The linoleum floor and watch their eyes
Scan my every move,
Every shallow breath that I take
Because my chest is so tight
And I am panicking.
I don't want to tell them about my cuts,
About my desire to die,
About not eating,
Looking in the mirror and finding another flaw,
About thinking like everyone despises my existence.

I'm scared, no, petrified
That they will look me in the eye
And tell me that there is nothing wrong,
I am just another hormonal teen who can't
Cope with college.

I am terrified of being made to feel like I am unfixable.