all the rage I could engage
has never made me strong

and all the shame at being strange
has not made me belong

all my fear of bombardiers
has not resolved their quarrels

and all the guilt that I have felt
has not made me more moral

what was the point of all that pain?
it didn't fix a thing

I can't take back the past
but now I can take back the reins

time to stop spiraling
self sabotaging
second guessing

after years of cruel punishment
I've finally learned my lesson