May 2022
(song)
Lord forgive me for I know what I do but forgot or was never taught how to change
I've called on your name many times but always had to leave a message, all my life you've simply been out of range
The spotlight is on and all I ever see is your seats vacancy when I look out into the crowd from the stage
Even though I know that chair will never fill I'm disappointed every time, even still at my age
Actions speak louder than words but you must be frozen in silence, feel like an abandoned fight dog chained to a cage
Incased in mange, engulfed by the plague that is you, unrecognizable, who I've become is hard to gage
Sad and lonely, afraid and angry, I cover it all with the only two things you ever gave me, questions and a replacement of blind faith, a blind rage
My very being spills out as ink on the page, page after page after page after page
It ain't just me, look close and see that most your people are lost too but that doesn't seem to be a loss to you
Looks like it doesn't even bother you, indifferent even to those who look up to you
Could care less if your carelessness caused you to lose a few
Well aware the earth is a godless venue, how dare you demand we follow you when you've no plan to follow thru
Since you're hard of hearing apparently let me share a literary entry or three from my diary
Its an open book, entry requires no key though some pages have been savagely pulled, I'm sure you saw me bury a few in the cemetery
What remains are snippets of my memory that clearly show you've been side by side with me on the daily
Obviously that's sarcasm, you'll never see another set of foot prints anywhere near me, this wounded animal is on a lonely journey
And I don't think you abandon me, that would imply that at some point you were actually a father figure at any time in my history
Never seeing eye to eye, you're always a mystery, these mysterious ways of yours never get applied to me or I wasn't supplied the decoder key
And if you have had a hand in my trajectory, if you formed my destiny that just means you were the good, the bad and the ugly respectfully
I humbly come to thé only to learn a lesson in humility as I'm ignored repeatedly no matter the clarity of my sincerity
It ain't just me, look close and see that most your people are lost too but that doesn't seem to be a loss to you
Looks like it doesn't even bother you, indifferent to even those who look up to you
Could care less if your carelessness caused you to lose a few
Well aware the earth is a godless venue, how dare you demand we follow you when you've no plan to follow thru
Beam me up Scotty because I need a face to face conversation, I want to see your reaction to my devastation in person
You have a reputation of making light of a serious situation, who's the next poor victim your hand of vengeance gonna land on?
Why take a shot at creation if you're just gonna fade into oblivion the moment you're challenged by the simplest question
This can't be your vision for me, or can it be? Do you enjoy watching us drown in misery, ****, probably but whats the reason?
You're supposed to never give us more than we can actually handle but I've been at maximum capacity since infancy, more added with every change of the season
I know it's somewhat of a tradition to **** on those who don't listen, follow direction or simply weren't paying close enough attention to decipher the complexion of the lesson
God forbid you take action or show compassion, if off the beaten path by even a meer fraction it's eternal damnation
You went out for milk with no intention of returning, I'm left waiting at an abandoned train station
I think you have a **** personality, I hope you take that personally, if I was your son I'd be calling on CPS to send someone to do an investigation
It ain't just me, look close and see that most your people are lost too but that doesn't seem to be a loss to you
Looks like it doesn't even bother you, indifferent to even those who look up to you
Could care less if your carelessness caused you to lose a few
Well aware the earth is a godless venue, how dare you demand we follow you when you've no plan to follow thru
Just show yourself and the rumors done, you're the one, all the evil I thought you spun could be undone
It's looking like you do this for fun, showing me the best spot on my cranium to position the gun
Fully loaded but only needing one and even before I squeeze I watched you turn your back and disappear over the horizon
Looking up to you is as harmful as looking directly at the sun, but blind faith is your expectation
When it comes to you I was a loser before I even begun, who can ever say they actually won?
In my opinion, no one, winning isn't an option when the opposition draws inspiration from a place of a self fulfilling Armageddon
Confession is self incrimination, life is incarceration and death a forgone conclusion
It's what comes after that we are left in the dark on and you care so little you let that carry on
©2022
Lord forgive me for I know what I do but forgot or was never taught how to change
I've called on your name many times but always had to leave a message, all my life you've simply been out of range
The spotlight is on and all I ever see is your seats vacancy when I look out into the crowd from the stage
Even though I know that chair will never fill I'm disappointed every time, even still at my age
Actions speak louder than words but you must be frozen in silence, feel like an abandoned fight dog chained to a cage
Incased in mange, engulfed by the plague that is you, unrecognizable, who I've become is hard to gage
Sad and lonely, afraid and angry, I cover it all with the only two things you ever gave me, questions and a replacement of blind faith, a blind rage
My very being spills out as ink on the page, page after page after page after page
It ain't just me, look close and see that most your people are lost too but that doesn't seem to be a loss to you
Looks like it doesn't even bother you, indifferent even to those who look up to you
Could care less if your carelessness caused you to lose a few
Well aware the earth is a godless venue, how dare you demand we follow you when you've no plan to follow thru
Since you're hard of hearing apparently let me share a literary entry or three from my diary
Its an open book, entry requires no key though some pages have been savagely pulled, I'm sure you saw me bury a few in the cemetery
What remains are snippets of my memory that clearly show you've been side by side with me on the daily
Obviously that's sarcasm, you'll never see another set of foot prints anywhere near me, this wounded animal is on a lonely journey
And I don't think you abandon me, that would imply that at some point you were actually a father figure at any time in my history
Never seeing eye to eye, you're always a mystery, these mysterious ways of yours never get applied to me or I wasn't supplied the decoder key
And if you have had a hand in my trajectory, if you formed my destiny that just means you were the good, the bad and the ugly respectfully
I humbly come to thé only to learn a lesson in humility as I'm ignored repeatedly no matter the clarity of my sincerity
It ain't just me, look close and see that most your people are lost too but that doesn't seem to be a loss to you
Looks like it doesn't even bother you, indifferent to even those who look up to you
Could care less if your carelessness caused you to lose a few
Well aware the earth is a godless venue, how dare you demand we follow you when you've no plan to follow thru
Beam me up Scotty because I need a face to face conversation, I want to see your reaction to my devastation in person
You have a reputation of making light of a serious situation, who's the next poor victim your hand of vengeance gonna land on?
Why take a shot at creation if you're just gonna fade into oblivion the moment you're challenged by the simplest question
This can't be your vision for me, or can it be? Do you enjoy watching us drown in misery, ****, probably but whats the reason?
You're supposed to never give us more than we can actually handle but I've been at maximum capacity since infancy, more added with every change of the season
I know it's somewhat of a tradition to **** on those who don't listen, follow direction or simply weren't paying close enough attention to decipher the complexion of the lesson
God forbid you take action or show compassion, if off the beaten path by even a meer fraction it's eternal damnation
You went out for milk with no intention of returning, I'm left waiting at an abandoned train station
I think you have a **** personality, I hope you take that personally, if I was your son I'd be calling on CPS to send someone to do an investigation
It ain't just me, look close and see that most your people are lost too but that doesn't seem to be a loss to you
Looks like it doesn't even bother you, indifferent to even those who look up to you
Could care less if your carelessness caused you to lose a few
Well aware the earth is a godless venue, how dare you demand we follow you when you've no plan to follow thru
Just show yourself and the rumors done, you're the one, all the evil I thought you spun could be undone
It's looking like you do this for fun, showing me the best spot on my cranium to position the gun
Fully loaded but only needing one and even before I squeeze I watched you turn your back and disappear over the horizon
Looking up to you is as harmful as looking directly at the sun, but blind faith is your expectation
When it comes to you I was a loser before I even begun, who can ever say they actually won?
In my opinion, no one, winning isn't an option when the opposition draws inspiration from a place of a self fulfilling Armageddon
Confession is self incrimination, life is incarceration and death a forgone conclusion
It's what comes after that we are left in the dark on and you care so little you let that carry on
©2022
