Oh, the grand old Duke of York
He lost his right to the crown
he did something he didn't do
[woops!] and dropped his trousers down

And when they were up, they were up
And when they were down, they were down
And when they were only half-way up
They were neither up nor down

Oh, the grand old Duke of York
He eyed another's skirts
He did something he didn't do
And couldn't get rid of the dirt

And when they were up, they were up
And when they were down, they were down
And when they were only half-way up
They were neither up nor down

Oh, the grand old Duke of York
He lost 40 million crown
he met someone he never met
And let his country down

And when they were up, they were up
And when they were down, they were down
And when they were only half-way up
They were neither up nor down

Yes, the grand old Duke of York
He hid in his mother's skirts
When he did something he didn't do
And couldn't get rid of the dirt

Yay, that grand old Duke of York
He hired the best law men
He marched them up to the top of the hill
And he marched them down again

And when they were up, they were up
And when they were down, they were down
And when they were only half-way up
They were neither up nor down

Yes, that grand old Duke of York,
He had 10 million quid.
He gave it to someone he never met,
For something he never did.

[all together now:]
And when they were up, they were up
And when they were down, they were down
And when they were only half-way up
They were neither up nor down

Oh, the grand old Duke of York
Caught with royal pants down
When he did something he didn't do
And lost his right to the crown

And when they were up, they were up
And when they were down, they were down
And when they were only half-way up
They were neither up nor down