Alpha Pistols It’s a nice warm summer’s evening in 2004 The cool man was on top of the Manchester tower block He fires down with various guns at his lower targets There is a builders yard two hundred metres away The fork lift trucks zip about and disturb his sleep When they reverse their beeper goes Beep Beep! This riles the man and makes him madly dance Round his one bedroom flat on the 22nd floor
He grabs all of his guns in a heavy holdall and rushes up To the very top of the building where he can pop them While wearing only his bleached white Y-fronts He sits down by the edge and gets ready for war From up here he can hear the fork lifts beeping He grimaces and shakes his head then opens his bag And removes a small tape player then presses play The 12 inch version of So Alive by Love and Rockets
His chrome and ivory Colt 45 follows with three clips Clicking off the safety he aims at the reversing trucks Their blinking orange light and street lights illuminate Y-front man aims and fires at the small trucks His gun is loud and follows thru the muggy night air Bullets spark off concrete blocks and one hits home Going thru the windscreen and shocking the operator Quickly reloading he fires again till the mags are empty
There are 30 different fork trucks in the yard and area He killed one driver and wounded another in the leg They are all instructed to to their job while able and alive Next he gets a 45 calibre Grease Gun with long barrel He opens the shoulder support and readies his toy He stands up and sprays the yard from the hip His grin sez it all as his sub gun blazes away Two fork lifts collide and drop their pallets of bricks Reloading he fires at the upended yellow trucks
Their gas bottles explode and cremate the drivers His song is on a loop and goes on forever With raised arms and eye to the sky he dances Round and round he spins to the goth song Next he grabs his Al Capone 45 Tommy Gun It has a round mag full of bullets good to go Standing and firing from the shoulder he goes The recoil pushes him away from the roof edge
He leans into it and the muzzle flash is serene The slugs impact all over the yard and 6 trucks Snapping chains piercing tyres hitting drivers Two are killed one hurt three are terrified They still operate their vehicles as ordered Second mag time and more damage below A gas bottle blows in an orange blast of debris While this occurs beepers still beep and lights flash It’s a huge yard and there are many targets still
Slowly but surely he eliminates them like a surgeon His next gun is a BAR Browning Automatic Rifle This he shoots on single shot bipod lying down It’s a powerful 7.62mm gun and simply superb Each shot hits home and kills 4 operators dead Explodes rear 3 mounted gas bottles and more But the BAR does full auto too and he we go! *** ****** full ******* auto 30 shot mag wham
Soon empty rounds down range more hits The fire has been devastating attrition mounts There are far less fork lifts now in use there Burning trucks and dead or dying operators cry In his head he’s the rock n roll man on a roll I’ve got more guns to fire and now it’s my cod piece Browning 7.62mm machine gun with bipod I quickly pull the parts from my bag to assemble Then a belt of 250 rounds with 1 in 5 red tracer
Happy it’s ready I click off the safety and fire I’m sat down and hose fire downwards I slowly move the gun left to right left to right Impacts spark and in the night air tracer guided My 250 bullets lasts fifteen seconds and is it Nothing intact remains below working wise I took out 30 fork lift trucks and operators Many are dead some injured others hiding Lastly I use my M1 Garand rifle with blank ammo
I fire eight rifle grenades at the builders’ yard I pop a grenade on the end angle up and fire The blank shell launches the grenade up and down It takes seconds to fall and hit and Bang Boom Blam! I fire 8 at random spots of the huge yard There are no more reverse beepers sounding All fork lift truck use ceases forever due to me Now I can peacefully sleep in my room at night Do not destroy my slumber!
MAJOR INSOMNIA CORPORAL SLEEP Nick Armbrister and other writers