nothing scares me more than me. it isn't fair, it aches to be so full of rancid misery; twisted psychologically by tempered hate - a level stare - emotion shreds that crackling coat of grinning, laughing make-believe, retouched, refinished, polished fine by damaged days in infancy. I want to love; I long to breathe and bare it all, ******* the need to look so in control. please, how long until I break, you think? how long until they see? those sorrows buried underneath. nothing scares me more than me.