It's been one year since you dropped in my life
unwanted
like a stray cat that claims your porch as their new home.
How easy it was to fall for your ruse
to give you water, shelter, endless attention
to lose myself entirely, all for you.
You should know, when given such attention, a wild animal will stay.
They rule you now.

It's been a year since the loom of your existence
& that hot, hot summer.
You, a mosquito ******* all my blood, all my energy.
Once you were full and licking your lips clean,
you drifted away
Or should I say, you became
disinterested.
I was not pretty to you
but I was convenient enough
for you to dip your claws in
to use me, toy with me
A classic game of cat and mouse
I lost, of course.

It's been one year
since you took my soul and wrung it out like a rag
and hung it up on the clothesline
left for good out in the summer heat
to dry it up, to a crisp.
(My memories keep going back to how sweltering hot it was that summer)
My car with no A/C,
your sweat beads dripping down your scalp,
down your chin, to your neck.
You were always sweating
like the devil himself.
I'd wipe the poison as soon as you left the room
Left me there, alone on the bed, staring at the mold stained ceiling of yet another ****** motel.
"Why am I here?" I thought to myself. Then I reached for the plastic motel cup meant for swishing your mouth out with water, and instead filled it with wine. Classy.
My body covered in your endless sweat.
So. much. sweat.
It must have been the toxins your body carried oozing out of you.
& I still wasn't pretty to you,
just convenient
An easy ****.
You never asked if I wanted to
You never asked me anything
Did you even know my favorite color?
It didn't really matter,
there were no colors anymore.
The world was red and red only
from the summer heat we never seemed to escape.
I've never been so hot in all my life.

It's been one year, and the flashbacks keep growing. keep flashing
and its almost like i'm still the mouse,
being tortured for my past.
Always running away from it,
Burrowing my brain
to keep you out of my thoughts.
How many years will it take?
Are you still a stray cat, just on another girls porch?
I do not pray
but I will, for her