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May 2021
you call me your light -
breaking through your cloudy days and darkest nights,
and making the sunny days burn brighter.
if that's the case, then you're my light switch:
lifting me up, turning me o-
... okay, that's not the direction I meant to take that in.
i mean... it is tr-
alright, let's just move on.

i'm not sure whether to make this sweet
or silly.
i guess it could be both? i'm not really sure.
i'd like it to have some sort of flow, though.
i'd like to make the poem poetic.
how am i supposed to make feelings into "art"
when i barely understand those feelings to begin with?

all this talk of "feelings," feelings.
feelings are fleeting...
i'm not playing around with that *******.
i have so much more building up in me
than just a feeling.
what i have, pulling at every muscle in my chest,
is... more like a promise.
a promise to you, and a promise to myself.

but what is that promise for?
what does it entail? what does it assure?
is it a promise for the future,
to press forward together despite the wrathful storms?
or is it a promise for the present,
to keep our palms and arms open
in case we need to fall back on each other?
i don't know - it could be neither, it could be both.
i'm still trying to figure out what the promise means,
and what it's for.

but
there is one thing that's clear to me.
there's one part of that promise
that i'm absolutely certain of.
no need to build suspense...
i'll cut to the chase.

i promise
honesty.

i know, that seems like such a little thing.
i can give honesty to anyone, right?
but when i say honesty, i don't mean the bare minimum.
i'm not talking about basic respect,
and baseline truthfulness that everyone deserves.
i'm not even talking about polite humility,
or standard integrity.
i can offer that to anyone,
and i could give you that even if i didn't love you.

so let me clarify...
this is what i mean when i say honesty:
i'm promising to remove my mask around you;
to let the fake persona shielding me crumble.
i'm promising to let you into places of my conscience
that i don't even know about.
a promise of full vulnerability,
to give you a carbon copy of the key to my being.
i promise to tell you things
that i've never told anyone.
hopefully, by opening up that intimate honesty,
i can support you in a stronger way as well.

there's more to the overall promise, yes,
but i've yet figure out
what each dimension of it means.
i'm excited to further discover that promise
together with you.

wow, i intended this to be funny.
i guess it got real, huh?
I personally don't know how to feel about the piece, since it reads a little differently than my typical writing. The person I wrote it for said it was their favorite though, so I figured I'd post it. Critiques welcomed!
lucidwaking
Written by
lucidwaking  24/Gender Fluid
(24/Gender Fluid)   
488
   Rednaxela Kristin and ---
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