"Break this curse on my love life!"

I exclaim to the universe

I blame the men

I blame the planets

I blame myself:

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Why am I not good enough?"

I call it bad timing, their loss

I am strong and smart and I'm getting by just fine on my own

Ignoring the love shaped hole in my heart

It's all just bad luck

Woe is me

When will I ever get a break?

I looked in the mirror today

Freshly clean after a ritual bath

Born anew after a lunar eclipse

I stared myself dead in the face and found gratitude

Gratitude for the love I do have in my life

Yet humbly seeking more

I said, "I would like more love in my life!"

"I welcome more love into my life!"

A message came back to me as I stared into my own soul:

"You are the one sabotaging your own love life"

Immediately I felt release

Release in the realization I am the one getting in the way of real intimate love

I named all of the things I need to change

Intuitively, I just knew

My heart is closed

I play games

I claim to be shy and awkward yet really, I always wait for the other to reveal their cards first

My signals are mixed; throat chakra blocked

Too afraid to go after the love I desire

Lesson after lesson, failing each test

Now I understand

There are no games in true love

There is no doubt in the world that yes, this is the person

This is organic chemistry

There is no fight, no going against wills

No question of mutual interest

No forcing something that isn't there

Simply all the right elements in the perfect combination, at the very right moment

Sparking, catalyzing

Grounded in reality

Finally, I understood

Finally, I broke the curse