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May 2021
Right before your eyes a person with so much pain you couldn’t see, to your eyes I was fine, happy, jolly and complete, however I was dying struggling to breath. My body felt heavy ready to give away, I fight every morning contemplating if I should stay. I didn’t want to be here anymore, I wanted to go, I wanted all the noise to stop because I couldn’t hear my voice anymore. When I smile at you, I guess you thought I was okay, a happy person with hopes and dreams ready to take the world on. However, the world defeated me, I couldn’t fight anymore the little strength I had was enough to survive barely. At times I try to get your attention to let you know, I'm reaching to the point where I won't be able to do it anymore. But you didn’t see, you couldn't hear the child in me crying, begging for someone to save them. Help me it cries, see me it says, I'm here and I'm drowning, and I cannot breathe. How can you not see me, are you choosing to ignore the desperate silent cries that escape me? The pain, if you feel this pain, I wonder if you would have saved me. Would you have took the time to stop and embrace me? I needed your help because I couldn’t save myself. My demons were winning, poisoning me with their malice, infecting me with their diseases. Slowly eating away my existence, I didn’t know who I was anymore? But I guess it's too late, the deed has been done, I'm finally free, now it's too late for you to save me.
Bianca Hodge
Written by
Bianca Hodge  26/F/Netherlands
(26/F/Netherlands)   
354
   Ayesha
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