mom?
dad?
you there?

there’s so much I want to say
and too much time to say it

and it hurts and throbs and I want to let it out

but I don’t want to ruin the happy haven we’ve made

just like me at 7 laughing joyously with her friends then getting a cut on her toe from a rock and the cut hurt and throbbed but she kept going because she wanted to have fun and the cut hurt and throbbed and got infected

(there’s always a price to pay for waiting)

here I am laughing joyously as my (our) secret hurts and throbs and I

I’m weak aren’t I

I can’t
I can’t muster up the courage to break the silence
too scared of lies on the other side I guess

coward

but

I just want to ask or to hear or to confirm or anything to let me know I know I don’t deserve to know but the knowledge affects me too and I need to know don’t you know?

you don’t

I’ll keep it in as I always do
wishing for the truth but ready to ignore it if it comes

you there?
dad?
mom?