Right now, life seems to be falling apart -
not the whole of life but the part that made my life whole.

How? How did I let myself fall into this trap, again?
This tangled web of what has already been weaved countless times before?

Many times, I have fallen into the depths of my own thoughts -
some claims true, many untrue.
How do I even know the truth is the truth anymore?
Are they the lies I've been fed that I now accept as the truth?

I find myself once again
in the same fall,
in the same failure,
in the same state of imbalance,
that haunted me last month, the month before, and several times last year.

When will these nightmares end?
When will I have the courage to acknowledge them?
When can I finally allow myself to fall?
to let go,
to get back up,
to trust the process and love again.