I often ask myself why its so hard to smile some days and why I cry everyday and im easily angered some days and other days I dont feel anything at all and im just numb. I ask myself why I cant just be happy and why I cant just get my ******* grades up and get my life together. Its cause I'm ******* depressed. Then the question "Well why are you depressed" comes to play and I feel like I dont have a good reason to be depressed. I'm alive aren't I? Everyday is the same. Wake up, dread seeing my family, dread going to class, push people away, cry, skip meals or eat to much junk, tearing myself into pieces until I am no more, until I fade away never to cause another problem in someone's life and never to fake another smile... I don't wanna be here anymore.