and here i am, cleaning myself off my bathroom tiles in attempt to try again. but trying again isn't as easy the 4th time around. i want to be a kid again. but even at 9 and 10, 11 to 16 being a kid became an adults job. looking after myself and cleaning the dishes of uneaten food, cleaning wounds and kissing plasters like my own mother. i'll be okay. that's what i'll always say, and i guess when you say it enough the lies become the truth and my eyes blink away my youth. here i am cleaning myself off the bathroom tiles knowing that i have to try again.
i'm 10 months clean and i think it's time to start writing poetry again