Not black
Distract
Ignore, destroy
Face the facts
Living last
Flailing, failing fast
Turn, burn, yearn
Emptiness so vast
Empty, half full glass
Race to complacency
Staples in my stomach
Staring at ceilings
Simplicity in feeling
What demands to be felt
Doing our best with the hands we’ve been dealt

Wild-eyed, sitting frozen
Feeling trapped in the life I’ve chosen
Revolting, molting, shedding dead skin
Shaking these bones, can never relax
I’ll never win.
Chagrin, baring my sins like the crooked smiles cloaking my lies.
I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine :)
Feel like I’m sinking, thinking of dirt, worms,
The grave I keep digging
Flinching at memories I wish meant nothing
Clinging to love I’m eternally lacking, somehow missing
Piiissing myself at the thought
Blissing out like a star in the sky
Lost in my own world, omitting the why’s
and who’s that got me here
Somehow I survived my 23rd year
Unwanted writer girl, suffocated by fear
Dreaming of drowning in beer
Lost in this loneliness
Regretting everything I’ve ever held dear.