Of course you don’t understand.
You don’t have to.
This doesn’t affect you.
Burdens inside me, rarely seen or heard.
Often alone.
Writing suicide manifestos every other night
Feeling bright when I forget the weight that I carry.
Destruction behind me wherever I go.
The weight of my family’s misfortune in tow.
Blame myself, hate myself.
Never really had the ability to show what is real for me.
Difficult to please, ducking and dodging reality.
Everything to nothing.
Memories I can’t bury. No hand to hold
Maybe my purpose is just this.
Can’t change the past, only learn from it
And let it grow old.