I lost someone dear to me

It happened so fast that I can't react
My mind can't process it
I can't feel anything
And then..

Reality hits me hard

I can't breathe
I want to go home
I want to die
My world stop spinning
I want to quit
I can't move on

But I don't want to give up
I struggled hard
I fight to live every day
I am healing
I want to be strong
So that when the time comes
When I face that person once again
I can say it pride

I am a survivor
Thank you for your guidance
Mom