i remember
when i first went to the doctors for help
my dad took me
because my therapist had suggested I look into medication

i remember
the doctor telling me what
“the good thing about depression and anxiety is”
and i knew this man hadn’t dealt with them personally

i still remember that
because I thought it was funny that
he had the audacity to tell me
“there is something good about you always being so **** stressed and sad”

i remember
the doctor left, halfway through finding the right meds
he went to another town, another hospital, other people because why not

i remember
thinking i guess i’m not important enough
for even the doctor to stay and help
and i get that it’s not personal, but
it still feels a little bit personal