sometimes
the pain becomes too much
and the emotions
become one
jumbled up
mess.

you become too numb to cry
you sit
and stare at a wall
and just wish
that the tears would come
so you can just let the pain out
just something
to let you know
that you’re still...
alive.

but they don’t

you continue to feel
as if
you are nothing
as if no one cares.

your anxiety gets worse
you scream
you cry
you want so desperately
to die..
but you put on a smile
because
you’re the happy one
right?

wrong
you seem happy
no one cares enough to ask
“are you okay”
you continue
over and over
to make sure
that your so called
friends
are okay
that you sacrifice your own health
your own happiness
and you begin to stop feeling at all

you want out
but you can’t get out
this is an endless cycle
that you’ll be stuck in forever
or at least until you decide to do something

you are standing in the bathroom
bottle in hand
ready to take the life
that has been taken advantage of
by others who don’t care

but you can’t bring yourself to do it
you want out so desperately
but you just
can’t
do it

you think about your mom
your dad
your baby sister
the people that would care
the people that’s worlds would stop
if you did this
you think of your dog
that would whine and whine
if their owner
didn’t come home from school

you think of these little things
you put the bottle down
you walk out the bathroom
and run for the people you love
you hug them harder than you’ve ever hugged anyone in your life
you ask for help
and you live another day..