I think at times like this

I blame You.

I burn with such an intense hatred for my pure existence.

I didn't want this.

You created me and I have seen too much to believe You don't exist.

I know you hear me.

I know You hear me cussing and cursing the Universe and shouting until my throats raw and my lungs give out.

I'm defeated.

And when my tantrum is over and
I've cried and pouted, sat with it for as long as I could...

Then the worst realization always
Begins to sink into my bitterness.

Now to return in humility and fealty.
To come to You at my knees
And admit my powerlessness without You.

Begging in vulnerability for some
******* help.
For love and support,
My apologies with open heart.

Existing is painful so I blame You.
Existing is blissful so I thank You.
.  .  .
Being You must **** too.

But oh,
How I strive to be just like You.