I don't believe in closure
I can't tell if it's the honey soaked rose that I have for a heart
and I can't tell if I'm in more pain because of it

I didn't stop loving you
I can't slam the door shut
Not when you've made a home in the empty space of my mind

I don't mind the occasional visit
I stop in, look around to make sure you're still there

And, oh, you're still there

you're there in the late night drives holding hands
you linger in the smell of cigarette smoke and the taste of menthol
you crawl in the empty space in my bed at night
and you sometimes even lay your head on my heart, pressing down into my chest

But that's all it is
An occasional visit in your apartment in my mind
We never exchange words or ideas or kisses

I didn't stop loving you
But my love changed

My love for you was once deafening
So loud it pounds on your eardrums and rattles your ribcage
When you left it just made my hearing foggy and distant
You understand that I had to turn it down, don't you?

My love for you was once consuming
The kind that rolls over you like a wave and leaves you breathless
When you left I drowned in its gluttony
You understand that I had to starve it, don't you?

My love for you was once white hot
Heat waves radiated out of my chest and my toes were never cold
When you left it ignited and I was engulfed in flames
Reaching out of the inferno, my seared fingertips replaced your love with a flickering candle
You understand that, don't you?

I didn't stop loving you
My love transformed
I transformed to survive my love

Because amidst my grief
I yelled over the music
I clawed out of the riptide
I dragged myself out of the burning building

the burning home

I don't believe in closure because I didn't stop loving you
and my love didn't evolve

I did.