I can't keep track of how many times I've lied and said I'm fine,
But I'm not,
Everyday is a battle trying to keep the sadness from taking over,
Left with so much emotional debt,
An outsider would say I'm set,
I say this with a bleeding heart,
I'm falling apart,
I go to bed with a heavy head because of all the **** you said,
Trying to accept my sins,
But you won't let me forget a thing,
I'm aching,
But I've perfected the art of faking,
I'm not okay,
But that's what I've programmed myself to say,
I don't want these people to know,
I'm worried,
Wondering if I'll ever grow,
So I put on this little show,
Little do they know I'm dying inside,
I just need one person to listen and let me confide.
Conflicted feelings,
Everything they seem to say is true,
It's why I feel so blue,
It's hard,
Trying to drag myself out of the dark,
Sometimes they offer me help,
But I'm already bathing in self doubt,
Reluctant,
Maybe I'm too far gone,
Maybe I'm not the one,
Maybe I'm exactly like the rest,
I can't have that,
I contest,
Although maybe I don't know what's best,
These thoughts forever circulating my mind,
Maybe I just need time to unwind,
And forget.
They say they don't mean to pry,
But then ask me, if I'm sad, why don't I cry,
I say believe me I've tried,
Last time I showed blind devotion,
Shared my emotions,
I fell,
And let's just say it didnt go too well,
Now I'm a little bit harder to compel.