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Apr 2020
When I needed your help
You left me here, alone
And I was left to wither
In sickly wretchedness
The body’s not working
Yet the mind keeps racing
So sleep’s not coming
And you won’t, either

So I lie on my bed
Just me and a bible
While I’m left to wonder
How much I can endure
I'm stuck here alone
In a forced freedom
Shut in and forlorn

I thought I would have you
If I really needed it
But today you couldn’t
(Your own **** to go through)
And in such helplessness
It makes me wonder
If I’ve become a child
Without a mother

Very late in the night
I prayed to that father,
"Just let me fall asleep!"
(And to be just, I did)
I embraced a dark dream
A past and present lust
And soon woke in fatigue
With my life in the dust

During our toughest days
Don’t we need someone
To keep us from Hades?
But all I have is a God
(And all my fleshly pain)
Yet that's my only means
To keep this mind sane

I’m left to wonder
In a tired, troubled state
If I’ll get through it
(Don't want it to be too late)
I lift up my head
And prop it on a pillow
While staring at my bible
On a half-empty bed
This poem was written in 2014 after a fairly serious lung infection and a breakup less than a month later. I've made small changes to it over the past few years.
John M Bertao
Written by
John M Bertao  35/M
(35/M)   
140
 
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