This intense emotion I feel,
In my dark, sacred space I try to conceal...
Wrecks through my mind at night,
Like some strange infectious blight...

I try to make sense of this pain,
To grasp at something, anything that is sane...
But thoughts just whizz by like a train,
Like an everlasting pinball hitting chains and panes...

No one will ever be able to interpret this complexity,
Not even Google, that ghostly reality that we depend on....
Maybe I've drowned to much in its toxicity,
To realise the joys of my own reality....

But try as I may,
Joy seems to just be another word...
For bliss, happiness or just plain gay,
And all that is far away, emotions not felt in my world...