I have been struggling to sleep without you here in my bed.

At one time or another, all those stupid fears have come true,
So it's hard to think logical as my peers tell me to pull through,
You say 'it ain't truth it just you, it's your mind, it's your feelings'
But where do they come from? my monsters? my demons?
From 3 am phone calls to no text message replies,
To opening up and getting torn from inside,
To all my misreadings  that have hurt in the past,
To all of the others, you kissed once, had enough and then passed,
When I'm sitting here restless, 37 past twelve,
The ticking of minutes, the whole world has been shelved,
And I fear that you'll leave me,
I'm worth less than you,
It is worthless my feelings, this fear nothing new,
This pain, this regret, how I swim in the past,
I found someone precious and I gave her my heart.


I found someone better, to topple my ego,
I sit in her palm, not yet clenched to a fist,
I adore her and kiss her, and we float like a mist,
scared in the knowledge that this soon will cease to exist