a tourist in your own youth-
Was it worth it?
she would be a woman by now
he had the potential to-

lie back and enjoy it
shooting through your veins
no love, no hope, no feelings
there’s nothing left inside you
cold, white as a sheet,
sweating,
cold-
heartless

erratic-
am i acting erratic? Who the **** are you
to tell me i’m erratic?
have you seen yourself?
blown pupils, speed-cracked face,
smiling mouth lined with E
the spots on your forearms tell me you don’t have your act together
but the lines around your eyes dance as if you were happy,
happy to rot away at the bottom of a bottomless pit,
happy to steal and score and steal and score and **** yourself slowly
have you eaten yet? Do you still eat? When’s the last time you slept?

i remember every day as if it were my last,
i remember us in the park, i remember us
in the streets, begging for change,
begging for anything
what did we have back then? Not even each other
first there’s an opportunity, then there is betrayal
who betrayed who first?
does it matter or are you just hurt because you didn’t get your fix out of fit
not soon enough-

am i heartless?
maybe so, but what does that make you?
have you ever cared about anyone but yourself-
have you ever cared about me?
me, me , me, like a film on loop in your head
no drugs can ever quiet it down

a tourist in my own youth, yeah, sure,
but she could have been a woman,
she could have had kids of her own,
she could have -
where were you when i left?
did you sit and cry to yourself because it wasn’t
about your for once? Or was it about you but this time
you didn’t want it?

are you as alone as i am?
I know you are.
the warmth in your veins has long been replaced by-
charlie took care of you

do you want to,
for the sake of old times, like,
do you want to-
let’s revive our hero one more time
let him infuse us with apathy
let him surge through our bodies
let us share-

my blood runs in your veins.