learning to surrender your body
unwillingly
is not easy.

it feels like you're separating,
body and soul becoming detached.
it's not giving it to your love,
to be cradled in sweet delicate human arms.

instead you feel as though
no human arms can hold you,
because you are a shell corpse
with a conscience and some appearance.
like you're impersonating someone,
with the disease as the main body
human is second in command.

learning to surrender your body
unwillingly
is not easy.

it's learning to be dependent.
it's learning to know you aren't always in control.
it's learning to acknowledge your aren't always okay,
and learning to be okay with that.