I just found what were supposed to be my last words
Left behind when I attempted to take my life
On a lonely, heartbroken, crucial night.
Notes to three people
Who loved me and tried to protect me
But who could not protect me on Christmas Eve.

I still wonder why I didn’t die that night
And maybe that’s why I hold on to the hastily written notes;
For the reminder that it’s not my choice, when I should go.