I’m scared to say yes to you because then who will I be ? What is to be loved unconditionally ? To not worry if someone is prettier or smarter or a threat to me. What is it to have our own house, in our own town with our own things. I have waited my whole life to be happy , and here it is infront of me the chance , why can’t I grab it ? Why can’t I say yes and run with open arms and leave the past behind , is it because all of the trauma and sadness has become part of me , because I don’t know how to accept stability without feeling like that’s it. That’s the end of it all , how can it be the end? It’s never been the end of the sadness before ? How can I trust you won’t leave like the rest. Build me up into comfort then only look at me when I’m undressed. Laying with me but longing to lay with others too. What if one day you wake up and realise I’m just not for you. I’m scared ... I’m scared but I want to be brave, it seems you were carved into the exact thing I need , the thing that would have saved me years ago. Please hold on. Please wait for me. I just need a little push I could never find anyone as good as you. They don’t exist. Your the light I never had , just please don’t go  but take the darkness away slowly because the brightness hurts my eyes.