It is hard
Keeping it internalized
For such things
Keep me paralyzed
From time to time

Seated there
Talking to you
One wonders
How such a marvelous creature
Could be in a life such as mine

So close
Yet so far
Out of reach
Yet just a touch away

Still...

I swore an oath
Never to be broken
Alas, if such happens
I am to punish myself
For I am to never
Never
Be in romance again
Or to hold you in my arms...

Why?
Because I'm scared of hurting anyone
Ever again

So from now and forevermore
As long as I can
I shall never love again
Or at least never reveal it...

Still...

I find myself yearning for you
Wishing to hold you in my arms
Alas, such shall never be
For the likes of me

So here I stand
Alone
To bare the ancient tide
Strike after strike
Wave upon wave
Until I grow old
And fade from this mortal realm


- Jay M
August 30th, 2019