Loneliness is the lead ball in the pit of your stomach. You let it control you like the gods control the weather, you let it take charge of your life like your father did when he laid a hand on you. You let the loneliness creep in under your pillow, so it can whisper darkness into your dreams. Soon you will look at your life and wonder when you threw it away and decided that your own company was the only thing you were good enough for. One winter you will ask yourself why you never tried harder and if that is the reason you're celebrating christmas alone. When you turn 80 you will think about all the times you needed company and all the times your insecurities took the chance of ever getting it away.