i walked, ran, and stayed in hell. i forgave people who hurt who hurt me. at a very young age, my entire world collapsed on top of me over and over again. i still remember hearing the judge tell my parents about the word 'neglect'. i remember everything. i remember the house shaking and i still hear the doors slam and people yelling if i close my eyes long enough. i can still see the police men outside the front door. i can still feel the punch that winded me. i relived everyday three times, twice if i was lucky. i've been used and been told that i am the reason that god never listens to me.
but i think that i deserve more than that. because i wasn't those people who hurt me. i hurt myself but i'm not my parents or my siblings or the mean people at school who made fun of me. i forgave everyone and am trying to forgive myself even though i know i did nothing wrong.
don't i deserve to breathe? don't i deserve something good?