O-ut
L-ived
D-esire

Ever since I was a little girl, I never called anyone old.
I referred to older people as elderly.
One day, out of nowhere I decided that a person is "old" when they reach the age of 70.
My grandmother, who I call nana turned 70 last year.
Now I am morally allowed to call her old in my mind.
She thinks it's hilarious and she loved her mockery of a cake!

All jokes aside though, being "old" scares me. As I'm sure it scares many. To me "old" means; out lived desire. The desire to live becomes almost invisible; non existent. My mother is fighting two battles. Mental and physical. The mental aspect of her brain is fueled by her children's emotions and her physical pain. She is constantly worrying about her children and if they are okay mentally and physically. She has had her share of mistakes but she will always be my momma. Her physical battle consumes her whole body. Pain 24/7 with little to no relief. She is a strong women but because of her mental battle all her life, her body is that of an older woman. Medicine only goes so far and sometimes it feels like my prayers hit the ceiling and fall. My mom is not "old" but sometimes I feel like she "out lived desire." She continues to fight these two battles with a smile on her face [most days.]

Today you are 18,036 days old, but today, you are stronger, braver, and wiser than when you were 18,035 days old!!!