We were grown together
Her experiences were my experiences
Her life was mine
5 years apart
Yet we felt so close
How did I not know?

My first best friend
My constant
My reason to smile
She was mine
How did I not know?

When times were tough you were there
You were my rock
You made me feel safe
Now I’m here to protect you
******* it I love you

Maybe I’m romantasizing
But you were there
I swear
I’m not dramatizing

My earliest memories
A yell, a scream, I cry
And come to you
You comforted me
When no one else would

I now realize
That was a lot of pressure
You cared for me, you still do
Now I gotta do the same for you
How did I not know?

Maybe I was just your pesky little sister
Maybe I still am
Maybe that’s why, you feel
You can’t share
Your dark abyss

My experiences are yours
I should’ve known
I’m barely surviving
How did I expect you?

I had this expectation
Of you
Always smiling
Always okay
Always the light
Among the darkness
One cannot do that
Lights a collective force
One light among intense darkness
Will get burnt out


Please know
I’m not okay
And neither are you
We’re actually a big mess of a family
We’re all struggling
And that’s okay

I see a light
A strand of hope
We’ll get better
We’ll turn a corner
Because I WON’T let you struggle