Calming down
Waiting for the time
Where I can fill my mind
With anything else
Keep to the present...
Oh ****

The reminders
Today was the day...
Last time...
Remember when you tried?
Didn't you try to....this time last year?
Isn't today...?

The answer is...
Yes

It haunts me when I close my eyes
The same old empty night
Killing me inside
Torturing me

Yet there they are
Singing;
"Happy Birthday!"

They're smiling
While I'm pretending
All my will is bending
Threatening to break
It's all fake;
My laughter
My smile
My glowing in the eyes
I do it for them
So they won't take me away
Because of my past

Oh, but they just sing
They make a scene
Like it never happened
Just forget
FORGET IT

But it would be nice
If just a person and I
A friend and I
Would laugh
Make today a good day
A time to remember
To cover my past
Make today a blast

But that's just a dream
Isn't it?

- Jay M
May 7th, 2019