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May 2019
Calming down
Waiting for the time
Where I can fill my mind
With anything else
Keep to the present...
Oh ****

The reminders
Today was the day...
Last time...
Remember when you tried?
Didn't you try to....this time last year?
Isn't today...?

The answer is...

It haunts me when I close my eyes
The same old empty night
Killing me inside
Torturing me

Yet there they are
"Happy Birthday!"

They're smiling
While I'm pretending
All my will is bending
Threatening to break
It's all fake;
My laughter
My smile
My glowing in the eyes
I do it for them
So they won't take me away
Because of my past

Oh, but they just sing
They make a scene
Like it never happened
Just forget

But it would be nice
If just a person and I
A friend and I
Would laugh
Make today a good day
A time to remember
To cover my past
Make today a blast

But that's just a dream
Isn't it?

- Jay M
May 7th, 2019
I did something I'm not proud of on my last birthday...
Jay M
Written by
Jay M  15/F/California, USA
(15/F/California, USA)   
   Shiv Pratap Pal and TSPoetry
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